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If both partners like to try it, anal sex can be an exciting variation. The most frequently asked questions are: is it not unnatural, is the anus not too small, does it hurt, can it cause infection or damage, can it lead to a weakening of the anal muscle? Other questions are about technique. How to do it, what position is advisable, use a condom? And then there are questions in the background, for instance: Why does he want it? Is the vagina not good enough anymore? Where does he get this idea? It is best to remove these doubts before starting on it.
Anal sex: facts
Usually anal sex comes about when couples have enough experience together, have also tried other variations, like oral sex, trust each other and can let each other know without too many words what they like. Know some facts as well:
The anal sphincter is much tighter and stronger than the vaginal muscles. Although the anal muscle can stretch enough, penis size varies considerably, and in many cases penetration is just too painful, and must be given up.
The main cause of difficulty is the involuntary contraction of the anal muscle. This is comparable to vaginism, and quite understandable. Gradual steps, beginning with fingers, can be made to make penile entry possible. See below.
Most people do not practise anal sex more than occasionally, and so it has no damaging effect on the sphincter. After withdrawal of the penis, the sphincter recovers fully.
The rectum does contain more bacteria that can lead to infections in the vagina. It is therefore important, during one session, not to put the penis into the vagina once it has been inside the rectum. It is generally best to empty the bowel before having anal sex.
Anal sex: tips
Anal sex should not be tried without sufficient preparation. During ordinary sex, it can be very exciting to touch the anus with one hand while the other hand caresses the genitals. Also during intercourse, a finger can be placed against the anal opening, and as arousal increases, it can carefully enter. Nails should be cut short beforehand. Never do this suddenly or without sufficient lubrication (saliva or jelly). If done nicely, the anal stimulus will increase the intensity of the orgasm. The next time, the finger can stay in a little longer during orgasm. The whole preparatory phase can last a month or more. Other objects can be used by her privately.
When the time comes, it is best to use the best possible position, for instance lying on one side with legs pulled up, so he can enter facing her, lying between her legs, or take her from behind. Apply plenty of jelly, oil, saliva, or other lubricant, and place the erect penis against the opening. Entry occurs in two phases: first the head pushes against the sphincter, opening it up and feeling the resistance, then she relaxes the sphincter by breathing deeply, whereupon the penis can be pushed further, with her full cooperation.
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