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home > sexual information > sexual skills > the squeeze technique
The squeeze technique is used to slow down ejaculation. It can be used as part of a love session, but it can also help when the male comes too quickly. If he habitually comes extremely quickly, say almost immediately upon entering the vagina, or even before that, it is probably better to look for sexological help, because extreme premature ejaculation is best treated with medication. But often it is just a matter of discrepancy between partners, when females tend to take longer to climax, and males have the feeling that they should be able to hold their orgasm back, and have a sense of failure because their partner has no orgasm.
The squeeze technique may not work for everybody, but it is worth a try. If the premature ejaculation is partly due to a conventional way of lovemaking, with no manual contact or other playful elements, it is especially recommended, because now partners must communicate and the female must play a more active role than she is probably used to.
Males can also practise the squeeze technique by themselves if they want to postpone the climax.
Illustration: Chia & Abrams The multi-orgastic
Instructions for the squeeze technique, step 1: no sexual intercourse
The couple sit on the bed facing each other, in a comfortable position. She touches, holds, caresses or kisses his penis until he has an erection and feels sufficiently aroused. He lets her know by words or sounds that he is going to get very excited. So this is before he feels his orgasm is coming.
At this moment she takes his penis between thumb and two fingers, the thumb resting against the fremulum (the little muscle under the head that attaches to the (fore)skin). She then squeezes, gently but with enough force, for three or four seconds.
The result is that the urge to come is repressed and the penis becomes less erect. Then for a minute or so there is mutual kissing and caressing (see Great sex without intercourse), in which he also stimulates her clitoris, and then a return to the sitting position and a repeat of the squeezing. Repeat this procedure a couple of times, until you are completely relaxed and aroused at the same time. Then stop and get up or go to sleep. Do not have sexual intercourse.
Illustration: Chia & Abrams The multi-orgastic
Instructions for the squeeze technique, step 2: stretch the timespan of arousal
Repeat this session at least four or five times, each time without the male ejaculating. She may have orgasms by manual or oral stimulation. The sessions may become longer and longer as he learns that his orgasm is not inevitable, that she is an active participant, and that the pleasure bond is strengthened. He can stretch the timespan of his arousal, so that his request to squeeze comes later and later.
All this changes the way you make love, especially breaking through the combination of feeling excited and being worried about coming too quickly. Also it is pleasant to try something out together, to communicate about a problem that is mutual, not just his. And every time she can be caressed to orgasm, while he is aroused but does not ejaculate.
Once you have discovered that you can have and enjoy an erection long enough to feel comfortable, you can go back to having sexual intercourse, but again, it must be different from before:
Instructions for the squeeze technique, step 3: use saliva
Again you sit on the bed. Perhaps you have warmed up with or without the squeeze technique. Now she sits across your legs, resting on her knees. She holds your erect penis, which must be sufficiently strong and wet (saliva) and puts it inside her vagina, holding it there. Do not move, but look at each other and enjoy the moment. Then she takes the penis out and can apply the squeeze technique if it is called for. After half a minute she puts the penis in again, holds it for as long as he lets her, and so on. The essential thing is that both learn that the penis can be inside the vagina without the threat of an impending ejaculation. Step by step the lovemaking can be increased, leaving the penis in longer, moving the pelvis in circles, caressing each other as it were on the inside. The next time you can start moving up and down, very gently and looking at each other, aware and going up to a certain point, when you can take out the penis and squeeze again.
But probably, by the time you got this far, you are sufficiently able to have intercourse for a long enough time.
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